A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance, my friend this is





We should be like

A couple of hot tomatoes


But you're as cold as


Yesterday's mashed potatoes




A fine romance, you won't nestle


A fine romance, you won't wrestle




I might as well play bridge


With my old maid aunt

I haven't got a chance


This is a fine romance




A fine romance, my good fellow


You take romance, I'll take jello




You're calmer than the seals


In the Arctic Ocean


At least they flap their fins

To express emotion





A fine romance with no quarrels

With no insults and all morals





I've never mussed the crease

In your blue serge pants


I never get the chance


This is a fine romance