I just wrote this song to get laid
Because before I played punk, no one paid attention to me-eee
And what's the point in playing music if it doesn't get you chicks

And remember the vaguer the lyrics, the bigger the audience

Girls will love this song because I sound like I am what they want

Guys will love this %#@! coz they can play for girls they wanna sleep with

Your eyes are like the stars, or the moon, or running water

Or whatever will get you in my bed later
And maybe I'm at my best when you are with me
So let me get your number

I'm so interesting indeed

I let my hair grow out and my clothes are gross as %#@!

But I am not a burnout I'm just hippie vintage
Covered my body in really cool tattoos
So I'll never have a good job, but now I can sleep with you


And on your bedroom floor I wanna see my band's t-shirt
And I'll smile to myself because you should've known!


That musicians are perverts
Musicians are perverts

Musicians are just $#&@ing perverts

If you wanna be an artist, don't be too brutally honest

Coz we all just wanna hear a love song, even if it's bull%#@!
If you want the big gigs and to sleep with lots of women
All you've got to do is change your self image

Now I'm looking in the mirror telling myself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself

Don't be yourself, don't be yourself