I send pictures through the mail
Well documented and very detailed
To politicians and big celebrities

But none of them are believing in me
And i await their response
Some send none most send cops

But man it`s a dire situation
And i will risk the public humiliation


Sleestak lightning on my trail
It`s a dire situation they are on my trail


West virginia has its moth man
Pan handlers` got their skunk ape.
But i have a tazer and night vision goggles

Costco rolls of black duct tape.
It`s got red eyes it`s got razor claws
It`s got green skin no it ain`t a meth-head.

And after studying its behavior objectively and critically
I believe i have a reliable method.