Our Danny boy
He was a ladies man
Our Danny boy

Oh yes he had a plan
To find the perfect bird
And no he didn't mind if he had to try a few along the way

Oh no he didn't mind

He'd cruise around

The bars and clubs in town
He'd scout the birds
He'd look 'em up and down

He'd take his charm and then he'd switch it on
He knew which buttons he had to press it didn't involve no web address


She might look good yeah
She might look nice
She might have the perfect form

But will you still want to squeeze those cheeks when she's 34?

Extremely literate

You know in FHM
From nuts to loaded
He studies all of them

But he doesn't go near no not the top shelf
Cause bringing classy birds back to his flat don't wana see no filth


Like a young Michael Caine
Alfie's the character
Or perhaps a bit more tough, like in "Get Carter"


He'll pull the women in
And then he'll spit them out

Unless she's got a chest
Like Kelly Brook or Angelina's pout


She might look good yeah
She might look nice
She might get inside your head

But will she still be your Angelina Jolie when she farts in bed?

Now he's found the perfect looking bird

They've moved in it's 6 months on
She's got the body of a celebrity
Lying by him in a thong

He thought his plan was flawless
He thought he'd had it figured out
But after 6 months living with this chick she's turned into a lout


Because she snores she farts yeah she burps then laughs
She leaves her toenail clippings in the bath


And our Danny boy's thoughts confirm that she won't even be his other half