Well, I wake up in the morning
There's frogs inside my socks

Your mama, she's a-hidin'
Inside the icebox
Your daddy walks in wearin'

A Napoleon Bonarparte mask
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, do you have to ask ?


Well, I got to pet your monkey
I get a face full of claws

I ask who's in the fireplace
And you tell me Santa Claus
The milkman comes in

He's wearing a derby hat
And you ask why I don't live here
Honey, how come you have to ask me that ?


Well, I asked for something to eat
I'm hungry as a hog

So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog
I've got a hole

Where my stomach disappeared
Then you ask why I don't live here
Honey, I gotta think you're really weird.


Your grandpa's cane
It turns into a sword

Your grandma prays to pictures
That are pasted on a board
Everything inside my pockets

Your uncle steals
And you ask me why I don't live here
Honey, I can't believe that you're for real.


Well, there's fist fight in the kitchen
They're enough to make me cry

The mailman comes in
Even he's gotta take a side
Even the butler

He's got something to prove
Then you ask me why I don't live here
Honey, how come you don't move ?