You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask
I don't know where they are

I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty

And I still ain't callin it quits
But Sean, what the $#&@s wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy

Sittin at the bar just minding my biz

I came down with all nine of my kids
And they all got an attitude
Mad cause I said we can't go to the zoo

It's not a lie
But daddys too high
If I drive, I will probably catch a DUI

Here, play with this pitcher of beer
Sit in there chairs, and don't disappear
Everybody on your best behavior

Tip the waitress, respect your neighbors
I'll be watchin
You know what not to do

Don't make me walk over here
Just to talk to you
I gave em all some money

So they could play pinball and put
grub in they tummies
Now Imma go get bombed

And you better not tell your mom
And like clockwork, soon as I stepped away




You know they got worse

They didn't hesitate
Of course they start with the horseplay
And then it escalates

Then you get a court case
Little Sluggos
Thugs and cutthroats

Big trouble, cigarettes, puff those
Smash bottles on the floor and
Writing graffiti, fighting with the door man

Playin with switchblades and matches
Pick pocketin the cash and the plastic
Gettin high out back by the trashcans

Tryin to get the waitress to give a lapdance
I can't control em
So Imma pretend I don't know em

Now let me celebrate and get drunk
Cause my wife missed her period again this month


You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask, I don't know where they are
I'm a bad bad daddy

I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty
And I still ain't callin it quits

But Sean, what the $#&@s wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy

Somebody slap me