I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner
I ordered two coffees

one is for you
I was hoping you'd join me
'cause I ain't go no money

and I really miss you
I should mention that too


yes I know what time it is
in fact, I just checked
I even know the date

and the month
and the year
I know I haven't been sleeping

and when I do
I just dream of you
dear


I miss watching you
drool on your pillow

I miss watching you
pull on your clothes
I miss listening

to you in the bathroom
flushing the toilet
blowing your nose


I'm calling from the diner
the diner on the corner

I ordered two coffees
one is for you
the cups are so close

the steam is rising
in one stream
how are you


I think you're the least $#&@ed up
person I've ever met

and that may be as close to the real thing
as I'm ever gonna get
but my quarter's gonna run out now

or so I'm told
I guess I'd better go sit down
and wait for you

til my coffee gets cold