[Afroman]
Wait a minute man
Hey check this out man tell it

It was this blind man right, it was this blind man right
He was feelin' his way down the street with a stick right, hey
He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'

He stopped he took a deep breath he said
Snfffffff, woooo good morning ladies, ha
You like that %#@! man

Hey man Ive got a gang of that %#@! man
Hey I'll tell you what
We'll all have a good time

We'll pull on the drug
And hey, hey if everybody try on the mike I'll tell you all these mother$#&@in' jokes I got
First I'm gonna start off like that, hey help me sing it homeboy


[CHORUS]
Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need

We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the !@!@&& burn we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the floor like cheech and chong
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
Feeling high as hell flyin' through Palmdale
Skatin' on dayton rims

So roll, roll, the '83 Cadillac coupe Deville
If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my caddy will


Well it was just sundown in small white town
They call it east side Palmdale
When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale
Well I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs
When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my caddy
Because I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan
We $#&@ed on the bed

$#&@ed on the floor
$#&@ed so long I grew a $#&@in' afro
Then I $#&@ed to the left (left)

$#&@ed to the right (right)
She sucked my dick 'til the %#@! turned white
Thought to myself sheeba-sheeba

Got my $$# lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

And so I ran I jumped out the back window
But her daddy he was waitin' with a two-by-four
He beat me to the left

He beat me to the right
The mother$#&@er whooped my $$# all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudice dad

Thats the best damn #~!!@ I ever had
Got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna $#&@ that (*##$ just one more time


[CHORUS]


I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but damn she looked good
I took her to my house because she was fine

But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan

Never made love with an African
I $#&@ed her once, $#&@ed her twice
I ate that #~!!@ like shrimp-fried rice


Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya)
I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big !@%$ too
So I hopped in her $$# like Kangaroo


See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her $$# and she said "aiee"
Lips was breakfast, #~!!@ was lunch
Then her !@%$ busted open with Hawaiian punch


I met colonel sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
Said I'll fry some chicken if you'd just $#&@ me
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices


Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
We can go to the park, after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the !@!@&& burn we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong (hey wait a minute)
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her !@%$ were filled with Hennessey

That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that $$# and said yes miss daisy
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that #~!!@ in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan
I can't wait 'til I $#&@ that (*##$ again

Met a real black girl down in south Carolina
$#&@ed her until she turned into a white Albina
$#&@ed this hooker in Iowa
I $#&@ed her on credit, so I owe her
$#&@ed this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth, man I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy hoe

She just ran across the border of Mexico
Fine young thing said her names Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married but I cant afford it
I know I'm gonna cry when she get deported

Said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need

We can go to the park, after dark,
Smoke that tumbleweed
As the !@!@&& burn we can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
(hey wait a minute man, hey $#&@ that %#@!)
And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong


Have you ever went over a girls house to $#&@
But the #~!!@ just ain't no good
I mean you gettin' upset because you cant get her wet
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood
So you try to play it off and eat the #~!!@
But it take her so long to come

Then a dude walk in thats her big boyfriend
And he asks you where you from
So you wipe your mouth and you try to explain
You start talkin' real fast
But he already mad cause you $#&@in' his woman
So he start beatin' on you $$#
Now your clothes all muddy

Your nose all bloody
Your dick was hard but now it's soft
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Now you still gotta go jack off

[chorus - until fade out]