"Well I'm upper upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom

The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all


I've got big balls
I've got big balls

They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls

And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)


And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody###s and###s again

If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got

Great balls of fire

I've got big balls

Oh I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls

And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)


Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress

But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing

To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night


We've got big balls
We've got big balls

We've got big balls
Dirty big balls
He's got big balls

She's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)


(We've got big balls)
(We've got big balls)


And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood @@#!tail, crabs, crayfish

(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(Bollocks, knackers)

(Bollocks, knackers)
(Bollocks, knackers)
(Bollocks, knackers)"